there's just something about tags

Parents often make mistakes when selecting toys for their children. They look for bright colours, cutes faces and funny sounds.

But the most important part of a toy is how it tastes and feels in the mouth.

And the second most important part is the tag. Nothing beats a nice long tag. Really good toys even have several of them.

Miya takes her tag play very seriously and puts a lot of concentration in it. She usually holds the toy in her left hand while the fingers on her right hand grasp, tug, flip and twist the tag.

After a few minutes of this the tag is usually brought to the mouth for the compulsory taste-check. Then it is tossed to side the search for the next tag begins.

so this is love

When Miya was first born I didn't feel love for her, at least not in the way that I had ever felt love for someone before. What I did feel was fiercely protective and absolutely amazed. I marveled at her and everything she did, from her tiny sneezes to the strong grip in her little fingers. I even marveled that she was breathing.

And while it may not have felt like love, I have never been so able or willing to sacrifice myself for someone before. In the first few weeks breastfeeding was difficult; my breasts were raw and bleeding. Each time she fed I gritted my teeth and curled my toes with pain. But she wanted my breast and I wanted to give it to her. When she couldn't settle I walked countless circles in our house, holding her little body in my arms as I sang to comfort and soothe her. When she would cry in the night, no matter what the hour or how tired I was, I responded to her.

Most of the people in my life whom I love, I love by choice. With my daughter, there is no choice. I have been committed to her since the first time I heard her heart beating inside me. With other people I wait to see if we will get along. But Miya and I get along, not always smoothly and not always without misunderstandings. But from dawn to dusk to broken nights, we get along together, moving in a dance that I am only just learning the steps for.

I don't love her for what she says or does. Yet at the same time I love the little sounds she makes, the way she experiments with her voice. And I love the little things she does - the way she chews on her toes when lying on the change table, the way she presses her cheek against mine when I pick her up after a nap, the way she tilts back her head to look up and me and give me a gummy grin...

I have never loved like this before. Because I do, because I can, and because I will, I feel so incredibly grateful.

You are what you eat

Miya is working on a new look. It involves mixing a bit of cereal with some fruit or vegetable and then applying liberally to the face, hair, neck, hands and arms. For an extra flair she will sometimes dab it on her eyelashes. Who needs mascara when you have sweet potatoes?

Miya is also happy to share her fashionable accessories with our cats. It did not take long for Bogey and Bacall to realize that by hanging out under the high chair at mealtimes they get drops of cereal and the occasional spoon to lick. They also often come away sporting Miya's style with gobs of cereal on their fur and whiskers.

Thus far Miya has been generally preventing from taking her fashion to the streets as her outmoded mother usually wipes away each application before taking her daughter outside. But if you look closely you can usually find traces (hint: check behind the ears).

teddybear ears

The problem with not being able to dress yourself is that other people get to choose your clothes for you.

Miya has the additional indignity of having a mother who also likes to knit for her.

So it is that as the weather turns colder, Miya finds herself being carted outside with shoes that make her feet look humongous (her mother says she'll grow into them) and a hat that gives her teddybear ears.

finally a real meal!

Miya's been working hard to convince her parents she's ready to spice up her diet. Sure, breastmilk is great, but a little variety from time to time would be nice.

To prove her intent, she's been reaching for their food and grabbing at coffee mugs, glasses of water, spoons, ... anything to get the message across that this baby is ready to mix things up a bit.

So finally they gave in and on Oct 17th let her try some rice cereal.

First her mom put a little on her finger to see how the taste would be received.

"More!" Miya bellowed. And com'on, give me a real bite.

Now that's more like it! Something I can really sink my gums into.

You know, this stuff is pretty good!

Now what's for dessert?

trip to Saskatoon

In September, Miya took her first plane trip - flying from Ottawa to Saskatoon. She was rather concerned about hurtling through thin air in a metal tube miles above ground, but soon resigned herself to the new state of affairs, especially when she realized that no matter the altitude, she could still nurse.

She met her 100 year-old Great-Grandma - a beautiful woman and whiz at Scrabble.

Got reacquainted with her doting Grandma - who gave her clothes and toys and lots of cuddles.

Hung out with her Auntie who introduced her to philosopher puppets.

And even met her little cousin - who very gently, and proudly, held her on his lap.

A few short days later was in the Saskatoon Airport waiting to catch a flight back home. What a busy week!

jolly jumping

Sure, walking would be fun. But there are still a few balance issues to iron out. So in the meantime...
Miya points out that jumping can be pretty swell.

You get to be upright without having to worry about falling over.

You can stomp your feet and kick around.

You can even spin in circles.

This really is something to celebrate.

Miya thinks she could do this for hours...

Until she realizes that no matter how much she kicks and steps, she always ends up in the same spot.

And that can be a bit of a drag.

playdates in the park

To her father's chagrin, Miya has decided she is old enough to date. She's even seeing an older boy (well, older by a week). They were spotted last week in a local park, sharing a blanket under the trees. They tried to hide under their big hats, but we knew.

Miya has admitted though that this relationship is not without its challenges. While she is eager to engage her young friend in conversation, he is easily distracted by toys and generally does not respond.

Additionally, Miya noted they find it embarrasing to always have to bring their mothers along, seeing as they are not quite ambulatory yet.

So sometimes, even when on a date, Miya chooses to spend some time just by herself, hanging out in the swing.

finger play

So many toys designed for babies! This neighbourhood is lousy with baby boutiques and they all have adorable little toys for babies and children - fluffy, noisy, wooden, plastic, knitted, woven... infinite choices.

But Miya isn't buying it.

Sure bouncy tulip man makes lying on the change table a lot more fun. And Sophie can be entertaining, for a few minutes.
But Miya would generally rather talk at her toys than play with them.

And besides, the best things to play with - and certainly the most fun to put in her mouth - are her fingers.

our baby's Baby Bjorn

Since becoming rather constrained in the wrap, Miya is stepping out in a new style.

Kindly passed on to us from another family, the Baby Bjorn is perfect for Miya's 3 month size.

She loves that she can look around - and often gives beaming smiles to people she meets. She also seems to like that the cloth is just the right height to gum on - yum, yum, nothing beats the taste of a Baby Bjorn.

mon amie Sophie

This year, all the cool babies in Ottawa have Sophie, the French giraffe. And of course, Miya did not want to be the only one at the well-baby group without the cute little teething toy.

Sophie is popular with parents because she is made from natural rubber and decorated with non-toxic paint. She's popular with babies since she is soft and light to hold and her feet and face are just the right size for their mouths.


Although tulip man is still Miya's favourite toy, Sophie is a pretty big hit. Not only does she squeak when squeezed, she also speaks French and sings French children songs. Miya, in turn, bestows beaming smiles at her little French friend (which unfortunately are very hard to catch with the camera).



Sophie is also quite a forward little animal, always encouraging Miya to touch and hold her. But this is a developing skill for Miya, so Sophie is often dropped or awkwardly dangled, but she doesn't seem to mind. C'est un jouet très amicable.

Ottawa's youngest marathoner

With help from her dad, Miya recently began training for Ottawa's busy marathon season.

Miya shows promising form, despite requiring some assistance.

Her exclusive breast milk diet, though unusual in marathon runners, obviously has some benefits as her strength and level of fitness is superb.

Established marathoners are rumored to be concerned about this new challenger.

Canada Day

To celebrate Canada Day, this year Miya got up for an early stroll around the block. She then met with the Governor General for a morning breakfast and dropped by Parliament Hill to check on preparations for Canada Day festivities.

She hosted a luncheon for foreign diplomats, showcasing exciting new Canadian cuisine from some of Ottawa's up-and-coming chefs.

In the afternoon she was back downtown to welcome some of Canada's best musicians to Ottawa and take in their performances on the open air stages.

After such a busy day, Miya chose to spend the evening with her parents, enjoying a back-yard bbq then taking in the fireworks from the island not far from their home.

Or...

On Canada Day Miya napped, fed, kicked her legs, sucked on her hand, laid on her back, had her diaper changed, was pushed in a stroller, waved her arms, was walked in a wrap, sneezed and spit up, in no particular, but often repeating, order.

accused of not sleeping

Having recently been accused of not sleeping, Miya Nagaraj presented the following photographic evidence, which she argues shows that she can and does sleep in a variety of locations and situations.

Exhibit A:
Cuddled sleep in the swing







Exhibit B:
Deep sleep on the bed







Exhibit C:
Lounging sleep in the stroller








Exhibit D:
Folded sleep in the wrap





Exhibit E:
With this last photo, Miya attempted to turn the tables, arguing that those accusing her could not be trusted to know exactly when she sleeps, since they may also be asleep at the same time!

tulip man

Getting her diaper changed got a lot more fun since the tulip man started hanging around.

A little wooden tulip toy which dangles from a long spring is a big hit with Miya. The toy, a gift from Miya's adopted Aunt, hangs from the light fixture above the table where we've set up the change station - a little tug gets the tulip man bouncing and the lights gently swaying. This seems to fascinate our 8-week old and she will happily lie on the change table long after her diaper has been changed. She coos, yelps and peeps her happiness - and comes pretty close to cracking a much anticipated smile.

Miya's oratory debut

In early June, young Miya Nagaraj made a passionate appeal for the banishment of car seat straps.


First she called on all babies to unite











She urged them to push off the ties that bind, especially the restricting chin straps that limit free expression.






She listed several key points, arguing her case in a style not dissimilar to that of American President Barack Obama.







Suddenly she realized she had overlooked the important issue of safety, perhaps rendering her whole argument moot.







Thus instead of the rousing finish which everyone expected after such stirring opening arguments, Miya simply grew silent and fell into deep reflection.

1 month

On her father's 30th birthday, Miya was one month old. She has already outgrown a few of her newborn outfits and is gradually plumping up.

She is a baby who definitely likes to be held. She is pretty indiscriminate about who is holding her - which means that when we have company, it is easy to pass her around. But she is getting a bit pickier about where and how she falls asleep. Luckily the wrap is generally something which will settle her - as the above photo illustratrates.

Last weekend we had about 12 people in the house. For a little while she was ok being held and passed around, but then she started to get tired and fussy. I fed her and put her in the wrap and soon she was fast asleep - and slept for much of the afternoon, indifferent to the bustle around her.

When she is most alert - usually around mid-morning - I can often put her in the bouncy chair. Facing the front window, she happily stares at the light, waves her arms and kicks her legs. This is a perfect time for me to get a cup of coffee or a bite to eat. But after about 15 minutes, she'll usually start to let me know that she is ready to be picked up.

I'm hoping that the times of her being able to amuse herself while sitting or lying on her own will increase. The other thing I need to work on is getting her to sleep by herself. She likes to sleep beside me and generally wakes up when I leave. For now, I enjoy the cuddle time and am putting of any drastic changes.

3 weeks - growing

The public health nurse came by on Thursday and assured me that Miya is doing very well. She praised Miya's alertness, noted the way she looks at the person talking to her, said her coordination is developing well... all good things. She also put Miya on her scale and rang her up at around 7 lbs 11 oz. This means she is well past her birth weight and gaining as she should.

Miya's also developing a bit of a predictable routine and thankfully seems to have figured out the difference between night and day.

Some books say that babies will be alert for about 20 minutes after a feed, and then take a nap until their next feed. Not this one - when she's awake she usually stays alert for a couple of hours. Generally she has her long alert stretch in the morning - sometimes starting as early as 5 a.m. (sigh) but lately usually from 9 a.m. to a little after 12 p.m. During these alert times she is quite happy to lie where she can see a window or sit in her bouncy seat. She makes lots of little noises, but doesn't fuss till she gets hungry - which gives me a couple of hours to get something to eat and do a few things around the house.

She usually naps all afternoon - waking about every 3 hours to feed, then fall back asleep. In the evening she wakes up again for an hour or two, but is generally a bit fussier than in the morning - especially as she gears up for her once-a-day poop fest which seems to require quite a bit of effort and concentration. But when that is finally done (phee-ew), she is pretty much tuckered out and after an evening snack is ready to go down for the night - or at least for a few hours until her little belly wakes her for her next feeed.

2 1/2 weeks - baby style

Here's a photo of Miya sleeping on her dad's chest. V often dresses her in this outfit - what he calls her clown suit. Most of the clothes we have for Miya were hand-me-downs or gifts. Generally they are either yellow or pink. It is amazingly hard to find baby clothes in colours other than pink, yellow and blue - and hard to find girl clothes in blue. Why such gender stereotyping I ask? Not that I think dressing my daughter in pink is brainwashing her - but I just wonder why the options are so limited. Hopefully as she gets older we will be able to expand her wardrobe a bit.

So far Miya is still wearing the smallest of the clothes we have - although we are noticing that she is filling them out a little more, at least in length. She also seems blessed with rather large feet, which sometimes get caught in the pant legs.

During the first week the midwives were concerned that she wasn't gaining weight as she should. They made extra home visits to check on her, but each weigh in she was hanging steady at just over 7 pounds. Finally last Friday we had the good news that she had started gaining weight.

A public health nurse is coming by tomorrow - and hopefully she will have more good news for us. And seriously, just look at those cheeks - obviously she is plumping up.

birth story

I woke up at 2 a.m. on Sat, Apr 18 with some cramping. The morning before had been the same from about 2-4 a.m., so I didn't know if this was anything too significant, although a little voice said this might be it. Tried to fall back asleep, but it was probably my spinning head more than my cramps which kept me awake. Nesting instinct had really kicked in this week and I'd been tearing apart the office/nursery, cleaning and painting all week, but I lay there thinking of all the things that needed to be done if baby really was coming now.

I managed to wait until around 7 - when the cramps were pretty regularly about 7-10 mins apart - to wake my sleeping husband with the warning that this might be it and a long list of to-do requests. Poor guy bustled all morning - moving furniture, cleaning, sorting, etc. I called my midwife to give her a heads up that I might be early labour, but she cautioned me that this could slow down or stop.

In the afternoon things were slowing down so we went for a fairly long walk, stopping to take breaks if a contraction got too strong. I thought the walk might kick things into gear, but again when we got home the contractions slowed down. I called my midwife around 5 and she said that at this point I probably should focus more on resting and getting a good night's sleep than on bringing on labour.

But by 8 p.m. the contractions were coming more regularly and were no longer something I could just ignore or talk though. The midwife came by to check on me around 9 and told me that while I was fully effaced, I still was not dilated at all. Again she cautioned that I could labour might be a long way away and the best thing I should do is try to rest. She recommended I take a couple of tylenol and gravol and try to sleep. She also warned that women tend to exaggerate their pain in the early hours of the morning - basically saying I should be really sure I am in active labour before getting her to come all the way here in the middle of the night.

So I took the tylenol and gravol and managed to doze between contractions till 11:00. But I woke then with pretty bad nausea and pain. Got to the bathroom in time to throw up. That's when things really took off.

V was brilliant in helping me cope with contractions. I soon lost the ability to communicate with more than a word or two. He phoned the midwife a couple of times to let her know that things were progressing, but we didn't say 'yes, come now' since I didn't want to bring her here prematurely.

I think it was around midnight or 12:30 that my water broke - at which point I moved to the bathroom and grunted at V to draw a bath. Perhaps half an hour after being in the water I transitioned to pushing and roared Miya into this world at 1:30 a.m., April 19. The midwife showed up 10 mins later.

I sat in the tub holding her till the midwife came - such an incredible physical and emotional sense of relief. Seeing that she was ok, breathing, alert... We even forgot to confirm that she was indeed a she, so busy were we just marveling over this tiny living being.

It was quite shocking to deliver her ourselves. V was incredible throughout. It was all really intense and totally consuming - although I do remember thinking - probably around the most intense time of transition - that if the midwife showed up and told me I was only 4 cm dilated, then I was going to the hospital for drugs.

So now we are trying to catch up on some sleep and get to know our little girl. I'm sore, as can be expected. V is still being fantastic - taking care of me and often wearing Miya in a sling around the house so I can get some sleep. We're still guessing at what her skin and eye colour will end up being, but marveling at how beautiful she is for a newborn.